WAYS TO WIN PEOPLE

 12 WAYS TO WIN PEOPLE TO YOUR WAY OF THINKING

1. The Only Way to get the Best of an Argument is to Avoid it 

       Avoid it as you avoid rattlesnakes and earthquakes. You can’t win an argument. You can’t because if you lose it, you lose it, and if you win it, you lose it? Why? Well, suppose you triumph over the other man and shoot his argument full of holes and prove that he is non compos mentis. Then what? You will feel fine. But what about him? You made him feel inferior. You have hurt his pride. He will resent your triumph.

2. Show Respect for the Other Person’s Opinion Never Say “You’re Wrong”

      Never begin your announcing “I am going to prove so and so that you”. That’s bad. That’s tantamount to saying “I am smarter than you are, I’m going to tell you a thing or two that makes you change your mind”. If you are going to prove anything, don’t let anybody know it. Do it so subtly, so adroitly, that no will feel that you are doing it. You will never get into trouble by admitting that you maybe wrong.  That will stop all argument and inspire your opponent to be just fair and open and broad-minded as you are. It will make him want to admit that he too, maybe wrong. Be diplomatic. It will help you your point. Don’t tell them they are wrong, don’t get them stirred up.

3. If You Are Wrong Admit its Quickly Emphatically

      When we are right, let’s try to win people gently and tactfully to our way of thinking and when we are wrong – and that will be surprisingly often, if we honest with ourselves – let’s admit our mistake quickly and with enthusiasm. Not only will that technique produce astonishing results, but believe it or not it is a lot of fun, under the circumstances than trying to defend ourself. Remember the old proverb “By fighting you never get enough but by yielding you get more than you expected”.

4. Begin in a Friendly Way

     Gentleness and friendliness were always stronger than fury and force. The use of gentleness and friendliness demonstrated day after day by people who have learned that a drop of honey catches more flies than a gallon of gall. Kindliness the friendly approach and appreciation can make people change their minds more readily than all the bluster and storming in the world. 

5. Get the Other Person saying “Yes, Yes,” Immediately

      In talking with people, don’t begin by discussing the things on which you differ.  Begin by emphasizing – and keep on emphasizing – the things on which you agree.  Keep emphasizing if possible that you are both striving for the same end and that you only difference is one of method and not a purpose.

6. Let the Other Person Do a Great Deal of the Talking

  Must people trying to win others to their way of thinking do too much talking themselves. Let the other people talk themselves out. They know more about their business and problems than you do. So, ask them question. Let them tell you a few things. If you disagree with them, you maybe attempted to interrupt. But don’t. it is dangerous. They won’t pay attention to you while they still have a lot of ideas of their own crying for expression. So, listen patiently and with an open mind. Be sincere about it. Encourage them to express their ideas fully.

7. Let the Other Person Feel that the Ideas is His or Her

      No one likes to feel that he/she is being sold something or told to do a thing. We much prefer to feel that we are buying of our own accord or acting on our own ideas. We like to be consulted about our wishes, our wants, our thoughts. Letting the other person feel that the ideas is his or hers not only works in business and politics it works in family life as well.

8. Try Honestly to see Thing from the Other Person’s Point of View

        Remember that the other person may be totally wrong. But they don’t think so.  Don’t condemn them. Any fool can do that. Try to understand them.  Only wise, tolerant, exceptional people can try to do that. Try honestly to put yourself   in his/her place. If you say to yourself “How could I feel, how would I react if I where in his/her shoes? You will save yourself, time and irritation for “by becoming interested in the cause, we are less likely to dislike the effect”.  Cooperativeness in conversation is achieved when you show that you consider the other person’s ideas and feelings as important as your own. Starting your conversation by giving the other person the purpose or direction of your conversation, governing what you say by what you would want to hear if you where the listener and accepting his /her viewpoint will encourage the listener to have an open mind to your ideas. 

9. Be Sympathetic with the Other Person’s Ideas and Desire

      Three fourth of the people you will ever meet are hungering and thirsting for sympathy. Give it to them and they will love you.

10. Appeal for the Nobler Motives

      To put it differently and perhaps more clearly people are honest and want to discharge their obligations. The exceptions to that rule are comparatively few that the individuals who are inclined to chisel will in most cases react favourably if you make them feel that you consider them honest, upright and fair.

11. Dramatize your Ideas

      Immediate action was necessary. This is the day of dramatization. Merely starting a truth isn’t enough. The truth has to be made vivid, interesting and dramatic. You have to use showmanship, and you will have to do it if you want attention. You can dramatize your ideas in business or in any other aspect of your life. 

12. Throw Down a Challenge

      The way to get things done is to stimulate competition. The desire to excel. The challenge. Throwing down the gauntlet. An infallible way the appealing to people spirit. Every successful person loves the game.  The chance for self-expression. The chance to prove his or her worth, to excel, to win. That is what makes foot races and hog-calling and pie eating contest. The desire to excel. The desire for a feeling importance.