DOCTOR’S LOVE

 

                         THE POWER OF SAYING NO….

    

       Saying no can be empowering. It set boundaries, prioritizes needs and helps maintain healthy relationship. It not always easy but learning to say no can lead to a more balanced and fulfilling life. Saying no is not about being negative or uncooperative, it’s about being intentional and respectful of your own needs.

     I want to share a story about the hen, the goat and the cow. The humble hen lives in the county side.  In a little house that so cramped that half of his feathers stuck out the door. One afternoon a goat appeared. “Can I sleep here tonight” he asked excitedly. The hen choked on her breath, she knew there isn’t enough room for both of them in the house. “Uh, would you like some boiled corn instead”, she stammered trying to change the subject. But the goat insisted. “You didn’t answer me, can I or can’t I? Your little spot is lovely, must be nice to take a nap here. We can chat a bit then snuggle up to sleep. What do you say? The hen’s eyes widened. She flapped her wings nervously and swallowed hard. She wanted to say no but she didn’t have the courage. “Sure, you can sleep here tonight” she replied goat laughs, loudly, stomped his hooves on the ground. Got all excited “ha, ha, ha, ha what a great place to be. The hen meanwhile forced a smile, fake laughed while her head pounded with worry. When bedtime came, she arranged the goat inside the house, covered him with her own blanket and climbed onto the fence to spend the night outside. It’s rain, the wind howled, and it was terribly cold. The hen curled up tightly, shivering like a leaf in the wind. The early morning dew chilled her to the bone. The next morning, the goat come out in the little house holding the only ear of corn the hen had saved for her lunch. “Can I eat this corn? He asked, already biting into it.” Ah, well” she tried to respond trembling. “Can I or Can’t I? he pressed looking serious. “Yes, of course” she replied with a knot on her throat. The goat devoured the whole ear of corn, lick his lips and burped loudly. Meanwhile the hen spent the day hungry, wings drooping weak from the cold night and lack of sleep. By the end of the day the goat his belly so full. He could barely stand up make another request. “Take me home, I’m too heavy. I can barely walk” he says. “Uh, well” murmured the hen snapped using emotional blackmail. He got into a cart and made the little hen pull like a little work mule and she even weak staggered along nearly fainting under the weight of such abuse. When they finally arrived at the goat’s house the hen collapsed outside. Too weak to get up with a fever, a cold weakness and an empty crop she couldn’t move. Days later the goat hosted the famous corn night. He invited everyone.  Everyone except the hen. She who always said yes wasn’t even remembered. The once who laughing, eating corn were the cows. The same one who never lifted a finger. That’s when the hen understood. She was only called a friend when she could be used.

      This story was the reality of life. People who never say no aren’t seen as generous, they’re seen as fools. And whenever someone needs a fool, they’ll think of you. Generosity is beautiful but saying yes, all the time is giving up on yourself. Saying no could help is cruelty to others but saying yes when you can’t is cruelty to yourself. Learn to take care of yourself. Learn to say no.

       By saying no, you’re able to conserve energy and reduce stress. You can focus on what’s truly important to you. build self -confidence and assertiveness. Establish respect from the others. Can reduce overcommitting and burnout. Helps set realistic expectations with others.  In saying no make it clear and direct. Some afraid of saying no was the fear of rejection or disappointing others. Desire to please others or avoid conflict. Difficulty to setting boundaries. Saying no is a normal part of communication and it’s ok to prioritize your own needs. Also, when you always say yes to others, they will always take advantage of you. Remember it’s ok to say no and declined it is a self-care that empower you to live more authentically and pursue your own goal and value. You’re not a push-over. Clear and polite refusals help maintain relationship while asserting personal limits.

       Saying no is a crucial skill for maintaining mental and emotional well-being and fostering healthier relationship. It demonstrates self-respect and helps other to understand your needs and limit. It can help you make more thoughtful and intentional decision rather than swayed by external pressures. It’s good to help others but be kind to yourself too.